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Couples Therapy

I see all couples challenges as a pathway for your growth.

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YOU MAY BE EXPLORING THIS PAGE BECAUSE…

  • You and your partner can’t stop arguing with each other, and when the argument stops, both of you feel worse than when it started.

  • You have noticed that you are filling the empty spaces in your relationship with other people or other activities.

  • Your feel worried that if you were to directly tell your partner that the relationship is not going well, then it will lead to the catostrophic end of the relationship.

  • You are frightened that the way you and your partner are acting is affecting your children, even though you do your best to keep conflicts hidden.

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Please read a little bit about the services that I offer and see if they might help you.

The conflict in couple’s relationships often is due to a key theme.

In many relationships, there is a key theme that is stirring up the conflict. Often times, the theme that is being triggered is about control. For many of us, having control brings a feeling of security and calm. However, when both partners in a relationship desire a strong sense of control, this leads to conflict. It can lead to fights over many shared decisions, like vacation destinations, intimacy, home decor, dining choices, and parenting.

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If this is you: You need a place where you can openly and safely explore this very important relationship, whether you have doubts, fears, or worries. 

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My Goals for Couples Therapy

My goal with all couples is to create a safe environment where we can work together to help address challenges that are happening in your relationship. Unlike when I work with an individual, the client is the couple (both of you). I strive for us to set a pace that works for both of you, being respectful of the uniqueness of each couple that I meet.
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Bringing to light key themes, like control, helps to provide much needed perspective. When both partners realize that their conflict is being driven by the same topic, it becomes easier to stand in each others shoes and easier to take a step back.

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Sometimes, you may decide that our priority should be to focus on you and what you are bringing into the relationship. When that happens we work together doing individual counseling.

My Experience with Couples Therapy

I’ve been working with couples since the earliest days of my training in 1988. At that time, the approach was focused on the behaviors that couples showed and reported.

 

Since that time, my approach has shifted toward a method called Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy. In the therapy we consider each of your vulnerabilities, the key issues that brought you to see me, the pattern that you experience when there is conflict, and other aspects of your relationship that are bearing down on you (children, work stress).

My approach to treatment also has been influenced by my own personal journey as part of a couple, as well as by my own childhood experiences.

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I’m an optimistic person; I believe that it’s feasible to improve communications, reconcile and accept differences, and bring more pleasure back to relationships. Couples therapy, overall, provides a supportive structure to bring more positive and realistic feelings into your relationship.

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